Thoughts of Being Worthy

If the people that you are assigned to from birth is raising you, you trust them from your birth. You trust them to take care of you. What they tell you to do or how to act in order to live, you believe them. Right? Their words are sacred, almost. I never remember anything I was praised for doing. If they did, it might have been a shock that made me forget. I wished I could remember being praised even if it was a tiny thing. All my life I tried to do things that they would be proud of. That’s why I know so many subjects and other things. Because of trying to make them happy with me. I still at age 68 try to do something but I’m beginning to see my efforts are worthless. I remember planning to teach cake decorating which I was pretty good with. My church said I could use a room that had a kitchen in it and they wouldn’t charge me anything. I was going to teach for $15. A lot of people wanted me to do it. My mom said I couldn’t teach it. Here I am in my adulthood and wanted to make some money. But I’m stupid to want to do it. Her words. She is religious and taught Sunday School or other groups. My grandmother did too. I then took classes to preach. I had already taught SS and Children’s Church and started a kid’s club. So, I wanted to become a minister. I told her about becoming one on Christmas day. She laughed in my face saying it was a stupid idea. I’m not worthy enough to preach. She did enjoy me cake decorating and she helped with that. In fact she learned from me. I learned how to make homemade cakes from her. But through the years I never felt worthful because I wasn’t good enough for anything I do. It’s strange now that I have found someone that thinks I am worth a lot. It’s engrained in me so deep that whatever I do I don’t see anything good. Now the more I am with my wife the more I see I am someone and worth a lot.

Published by Sher Greenwolf

I love to read children's books to children and the young at heart. Then I love nature and animals and take pictures of them. Also I love traveling and learning the history of each state/city. The other things I like to do is teach survival and crafts. I love to help people know they can do almost anything they want.

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