I was a christian at one time in my life. Well actually all my life.
About 5 years ago I renounced christianity the religion but not the Christ.
I was even a minister and on record I still am but I resigned from that as well.
Because after a stroke I lost my memories and that took away all my ministerial training and schooling.
Then after relearning to read and write I started researching the church history and bible history by even studying the lands and cultures and words.
I discovered that the church is teaching lies to the members.
I even learned about the letter J being only 500 years old and what the true names of all the people in the bible are.
According to that the Jesus is a Roman god not christian or jewish at all. So. I renounced christianity. And didn’t have any beliefs.
I do go to a christian church because I wanted to get out of the house and do something.
This church has activities that are for outdoors and in nature. Nice music and some are worldly and a lot seems pagan. But I don’t agree with some of their teachings.
I do believe in Jesus and used to interact with him since I was little. But I haven’t seen or heard him in a long time.
I was kicked out of a lot of churches when they found out that I am gay and a preacher.
I’m not the type of lesbian that chases women. But because I am gay according to the christian faith, I never was saved nor never will be saved and my soul would go to hell. That’s their words not mine.
You know, I can’t change. I begged god to change me and he wouldn’t so I guess I was born so the god could add me to Satan’s domain.
I’m a good person most of the time but being good gets me nowhere.
As I studied I noticed there were other gods. So that got my interest.
Even the christian god has a god over him. The christian god is jealous and wants all people to worship him. But there are many more.
I don’t know them. I don’t know how to meet them. I don’t know how to begin an older religion.
I just know that I respect nature and earth and the planets.
I also learned about the Greek gods from reading fanfic.
Xena:Warrior Princess show that was on TV. It mentions the Amazon women and their beliefs in the Greek gods and goddesses.
And in the fanfic that I’ve read they had personal interaction with these gods.
I was drawn to that and wanted to know them.
I wanted to know if there are literatures I can buy that has step by step studies. What I’ve seen so far are scattered and confusing.
I’m a beginner. I need to go from one level to the next. Like from first grade to second grade. Not from twelfth grade to third grade then college to first grade. Is there something like that I can buy? Like schooling curriculum? Not online but in paper book form?
Maybe starting at a child’s level? Being Pagan and a Witch sounds good. Any kind of witch that doesn’t harm anyone.
My sibling is an evil witch that puts curses on people that can kill them.
I don’t want to be like her.