A lot of people don’t want me to change and to be myself. That’s what they tell me.
I am the type that has to change to adjust to my surroundings and what goes on in order to stop fussing or disappointment from others of things I do or say.
I can’t stand it when people scold me for something I say or do that I thought was good.
Sometimes when they get upset with some things I say and do so I try to change whatever it was so they won’t get upset with me again.
My personality is that of a Chameleon like a lizard that changes its colors to blend in to protect itself.
I’ve had to do that all my life with everyone I’ve been around to stop the beatings and slapping and verbal abuse since a child.
Protecting myself so much and trying to get along with people has changed my life. They ask me to be myself. I don’t know my true self.
There is a part of me that I love about me but not sure if it’s me or what others have made me be.
It’s loving nature. And being kind. And people have tried to destroy that too.
So if I’m in a group with more than two and I’m quiet, I’m trying to adjust to two different people at the same time.
It feels like I’m standing on the colorful comic section of a newspaper. Colors flying but can’t adjust and it gets me confused.
If a person reprimands me or scold me about something I said and I go quiet for awhile, I’m trying to adjust so I won’t make the mistake of upsetting the person again. I love peace.
I hope these things in my message doesn’t make anyone mad or sad.
Then I have to change more so we can be at peace with each other.